i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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