does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
