I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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