Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
