I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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