um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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