your room smells of hookers.
And success
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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