nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
