Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
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