i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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