oh god the rape fog is back!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
