ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
