I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's rum buckets o'clock
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
