we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
