im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
