im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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