I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
