You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
