Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
