No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
