I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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