You really coming over, don't trick.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
