Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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