dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
