i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
