we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
