I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
