Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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