I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
