don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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