not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
