mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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