you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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