Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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