Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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