my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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