I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
