can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
