I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
