JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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