that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
