Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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