He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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