I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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