Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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