I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
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turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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