i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
