I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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