There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
