Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize