We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
