reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
