Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
