did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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