shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
