dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize