Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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