i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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